From burnout to balance
Let’s talk about boundaries—those little (or big) personal limits that help us protect our time, energy, and emotional wellbeing. They’re like invisible fences that tell people what’s okay and what’s not. And trust me, if you’re not clear on your boundaries, life can get messy fast.
How Boundaries Affect Relationships
Healthy relationships thrive on good boundaries. When we set and uphold them, we build trust, improve communication, and avoid the resentment that comes from feeling overextended. Research has found that couples who openly discuss and respect each other’s boundaries have stronger, more satisfying relationships. But when we don’t set clear boundaries, things can start to unravel. Maybe you feel like you’re always saying yes when you want to say no, or you’re constantly drained by the demands of others. I’ve been there. A few years ago, I found myself resenting my husband—not because of anything he did, but because I hadn’t set boundaries in our relationship. I didn’t even fully understand what boundaries were! Once I took the time to figure them out and communicate them clearly, everything changed. Our relationship became more respectful, loving, and balanced.
How Boundaries Impact Wellbeing
Boundaries don’t just protect our relationships; they protect our peace of mind. Without them, we can feel stressed, overwhelmed, and even physically exhausted. On the flip side, having strong boundaries can reduce anxiety and give us a sense of control over our lives.
Dr. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability and courage, has found that people with strong boundaries tend to have higher self-esteem and a clearer sense of identity. I can personally vouch for that! Setting boundaries in all areas of my life—from friendships to work to family commitments—has made me feel more confident and empowered. I’m no longer saying yes out of obligation, and I have way more mental space for the things that truly matter to me. A few years ago, I realised I was spending my days in a toxic workplace, with no psychological safety. Once I became clear on my boundaries (and my self-worth), I found the courage to leave that job and enter my next workplace with a clear sense of what I would, and would not, tolerate and I learned how to communicate this to my colleagues.
“Saying no doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you self-aware.”
How to Set and Uphold Boundaries
Figure Out What Matters to You: Pay attention to situations where you feel drained, resentful, or overwhelmed—that’s usually a sign that a boundary is needed.
Be Direct but Kind: Use “I” statements to express what you need. For example, “I need time to recharge after work” is way more effective than “You never give me space.”
Get Comfortable Saying No: It’s not rude—it’s necessary. If something doesn’t align with your values or energy levels, it’s okay to pass.
Stick to Your Limits: If you don’t uphold your own boundaries, others won’t either. Consistency is key!
Surround Yourself with Support: The people who truly respect you will honor your boundaries. If someone repeatedly ignores them, that’s a red flag.
How I Can Help
As a life coach, I’m here to help women like you create and uphold boundaries that align with your values. If you’re feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, or unsure where to start, I can guide you through the process with personalised strategies and support.
You don’t have to navigate this alone. Let’s work together to create a life where you feel empowered, respected, and in control—one intentional step at a time.
